Hello my lovely bloggers. I want to begin by apologizing for my long absence. In my last post, i was in a gastroenterology appointment and while I’m glad to say that my symptoms are being controlled with medication, another medical contion has worsened. I have Congestive Heart Failure which is “controlled” by medication. I was diagnosed in 2015 & I take 3 different medications daily to help me get along. Heart Failure has no cure, only treatment therefore, my day to day lifestyle can be very challenging. My symptoms are very strong. Fatigue, shortness of breath, chest pain & pressure, edema, fluid build back, dizziness, fainting, etc. Some days are better than others, some days I feel as if I’d been punched in the chest, struggling to breathe, panicking for air. I sleep in a sitting position because laying flat causes shortness of breath, & I take breaks between flights of stairs. Pretty annoying when you’re 25 years young & can’t play tag with your 5 year old. My Ejection Fraction is a low 35% while a normal EF is 60%. Ejection Fraction measures how well your heart functions. While a low EF can have many causes, mine are caused by cardiomyopathy (a weak heart) & systolic heart failure (the inability of the heart to pump with enough force in order to push blood into circulation all because the left ventricle of the heart cannot contract normally.) Being that I am extremely symptomatic & my medication is not helping enough, my cardiologist was concerned enough to send me to a cardiac specialist. While we cannot find the reason for my heart failure, he educated me on the severity of it; the high risks of sudden death & cardiac arrest. While sitting there scared shitless, I knew what was coming & I knew that I had gone to the right person to determine my next step. I agreed to his plan, difibrillator/pacemaker implant surgery. A defibrillator helps & tries to prevent sudden death in case I go into cardiac arrest. It will shock me & hopefully save my life while a pacemaker tries to control my heart rate so that it cannot be affected my any dangerous arrhythmia that I may have. A patient can either need one or both but in my case, I needed both. So there is a small battery dependent device that is surgically implanted in my chest & is connected to a wire that goes all the way through the main artery into the very bottom of my heart. Crazy right? It’s been about a week & a half since the surgery & here I am, back home from the hospital & in recovery mode. I spent about 6 days in the hospital but thank God, all has gone well & slowly but surely, I’ll recover from this procedure just like I have from my previous 7 surgeries. I’ll explain more in my next post about what it feels like to have this device because it sure is freaking weird. Needless to say painful & inconvenient because I can’t move my left arm for a month! Again, I apologize for my absence. Once I found out, I got lost in my thoughts but couldn’t seem to let it out. I would try to type but I couldn’t believe what was happening & I didn’t even know how to espress it, how to process it all. I’m still a little in disbelief but I have way too many feelings to keep them boxed inside. I’ll be back soon with details & perhaps a picture or two because oddly enough, you can see the damn thing through my skin. (I know, ick!) I don’t have a name for it yet but I’ll work on that in the mean time. Thanks for listening guys, or should I say reading? It has been a stressful couple of weeks. I hope all is well with all of you!